


kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face

by StarrySpectacle



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Multi, Shotgunning, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarrySpectacle/pseuds/StarrySpectacle
Summary: { drabble collection for the series All For the Game. tags & pairings will change depending on chapter }3. allison + renee -- soulmate au, pt 2 (t)4. neil (+andrew) -- 'things you said with too many miles between us' (t)5. jeremy + jean -- soulmate au, pt 3 (m){ title from "twin size mattress" by the front bottoms }





	1. andreil + shotgun kiss (t)

**Author's Note:**

> My friend finally got me to read this series and I finished it in like two days, so now I'm devoting the rest of my life to letting everyone know how much I care about these kids. Updates may or may not be frequent, and I can't promise any specific prompts or pairings. It'll be whatever interests me most to explore, but if you have any ideas or prompts you'd like to see me tackle, I'll see what I can do!
> 
> Tags and pairings will change per chapter, most likely, and there's no promise some au chapters will take place within the same au. This is mostly for me to explore characters and their relationships with one another.
> 
> Thank you very much for checking this out, and I hope you enjoy it!

“Have you ever shotgunned before?” Neil sat beside Andrew on the roof, head upright and turned to the campus. 

“What does it matter to you?” Andrew sounded indifferent, not unlike him and a welcomed sign he was willing to listen. Neil was ready, the topic having been on his mind for the past few days.

_“Seriously-- you haven't done it? Not even with Andrew?” Nicky asked. He occupied the beanbag chair beside Neil and actually paused their game to turn his body toward him. “No way._ No one _who carries around cigarettes as much as you do can say they haven't been shotgun kissed.”_

_“I guess I’m full of surprises,” Neil replied dryly. He didn't bother taking the time to ask Nicky to clear up what exactly that was, and he didn't offer a free explanation._

_“You need to try it,” Nicky said solemnly, nodding as if he'd made up Neil’s mind for him. “Yes, actually. You will try it. During one of your totally-not-secretive quickies on the roof. Don't look at me like that, you two aren't exactly subtle!”_

While Nicky dropped the subject, it still plagued Neil’s mind. A quick internet search later, and before the images loaded Neil could feel his pulse quicken. There was no reason to get worked up over it then, alone in his room staring at the screen of the laptop Nicky had talked him into getting when his stay was ensured to be longer than spring. Now, sitting on the roof with Andrew and a lit cigarette between them, was a different story.

“You smoke a lot. I figured you had,” Neil replied. With no visible shift to Andrew’s demeanour, he continued. “I haven't, but I understand if you don't want to…” It isn't like Andrew would have a reservation about this. They had done a lot worse than this, but something in the thoughtful drag Andrew took, holding the smoke for a moment before purposefully blowing it in the opposite direction of Neil, made his stomach churn.

“We should have a talk about your weird kinks.” It isn't a no, and Andrew hadn't moved when he asked, “are you sure?”

Before the _s_ left Neil’s tongue Andrew was in his space, keeping a cautious distance and balancing himself easily on an awkward pose and one arm. Neil didn't breathe when Andrew’s lips were a scant half-inch away from his, but his shuddering exhale wasn't missed when Andrew turned his face aside, keeping Neil’s gaze and taking a measured drag of his cigarette.

Andrew’s eyebrow quirked but he didn't push it before he was turning back, lips brushing Neil’s. They pressed harder, clueing Neil in to part his lips and breathe in as Andrew breathed out. The smoke was awful when he inhaled. He decided he preferred the smell of it in the air and on Andrew and wondered if it was even worth it, but moments later Andrew’s tongue searched out his, pushing through the smoke settled between their lips to coax Neil closer.

When Andrew backed off, a step short of smothering the light of his stick, Neil managed a tight “again" and let his fingers rest on the loose fabric of Andrew’s coat. Andrew adjusted his posture before he indulged Neil.

For a fraction of a moment, the corner of Andrew’s mouth curled up. Then it was gone, replaced by another drag and this time rough fingers against the back of his neck, guiding him closer and again letting the smoke from Andrew’s lungs twist between them before being devoured by starved kisses.

Somehow, Neil managed not to choke on their spit.


	2. andreil + soulmate au, pt 1 (t)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this pretty much plays along the majority of canon, which is why i don't think i'll really get to a full-fleshed au. that being said, i'm a sucker for a lot of the andreil scenes in foxhole court, so it's super likely this will reappear a few more times to dive into other aspects of the universe & other characters' relationships with one another or their own soulmates!

Neil Josten didn’t have time to believe in soulmates. In a life where he was forced on the run, where even the glimpse of his tattoo could give him away and sign his death warrant, he couldn’t afford to dwell on the possibility of finding his own.

It wasn’t often people did; his mother and father weren’t soulmates, the marriage coming out of ties and politics Neil still didn’t quite get and hoped he would never have to understand. Neil remembered feeling his mother’s arms move over him when she thought he was asleep, likely inspecting her own lack of a tattoo and then tugging at the collar of Neil’s shirt to peer at her son’s.

Soulmates were a liability. His mother had drilled that into his head every time they moved cities and countries, every time his gaze lingered too long on someone at an airport or passing in a convenience store. She punctuated her words with nails digging into the skin around the imprinted words. Even now, sometimes Neil felt the phantom pain of the skin on his collarbone tearing, bringing him to a gasping wake. He would spend hours staring in the mirror, not pulling his shirt askew and only staring where the words would be.

He’d memorized them when he was a child. He didn’t have time to believe in the meaning behind them, but they were something for him to hold onto. When he was left in his room, bandages covering marks from when his training went poorly, he traced them against his leg. When his father pressed the burning iron into his skin, barely missing the words, Neil repeated them like a mantra in his mind. When it was just him in an empty locker room, he covered his face and mouthed over the words until he fell asleep.

That’s what he planned to do tonight. Losing their game was hard. Brushing off the questions about his parents was harder. 

Running from Coach Wymack wasn’t hard. Neil was fast, but he wasn’t thinking. When he landed on his knees, gasping for breath, he hardly paid what Andrew Minyard said. He was speaking to the coach over him, not acknowledging Neil and probably not even looking at him.

Andrew had already said his fill, and Neil felt himself fall into the false sense of comfort he felt when he’d gotten the first lines of conversation out with someone he hadn’t met before. Andrew’s smile burned in his memory at the same time he tapped his temple with two fingers and looked Neil in the eyes. “Better luck next time.” 

Neil wasn’t prepared for that. His vision dimmed, lack of oxygen combining with the spike of fear in his stomach at hearing those words. Blood pounded in his ears, roaring to the point where Neil wasn’t sure if anyone had said anything before he swayed. Was his collar really burning, or was he just imagining that? “Fuck you,” he snarled, meeting Andrew’s gaze and refusing to let what he said get to him. “Whose racquet did you steal?” 

If Neil hadn’t been focused on Andrew’s face, trying to search in every detail he could see what it was that destined this man to him, he would have missed the minute flinch, or the way Andrew’s eyes widened a fraction and took in Neil from a much different light than before.

“Borrow,” he corrected a moment later, and Neil’s racquet was in his own hands before Andrew finished the word.

The rest of the night was an ugly blur: too-quick introductions to too-familiar people and everything his mother had done to protect him crumbling down around him. Neil signed the papers without really thinking, already making the decision to never say anything about what he’d discovered. Neil Josten couldn't afford to have a soulmate.

The words burned more when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror of a gas station bathroom, circles of green and blue mixed flowers dancing through the mocking words.

 _Better luck next time_. The flowers mixing colors reminded Neil of Andrew’s gaze, the very same one he’d glared into while trying to catch his breath, and in one fell swoop any last semblance of safety broke. His mother hadn’t mentioned this part, hadn’t told him what it meant to find a soul mate and to bear every fragile part of your identity to them. With flowers the color of Andrew’s eyes and Andrew’s words on his skin, Neil could only assume his own stood out on Andrew.

Instead of the brown flowers Andrew might have been expecting, it would be blue ones, icy flowers etching out words Neil couldn’t even bring himself to remember properly now. Colors which reminded him of nothing but his father, a blue he refused to look in the mirror to see again. One of his most important secrets was displayed as plainly as it could be somewhere on the body of Andrew Minyard.

With a few weeks between the Foxes and him, Neil needed to get this under control. He couldn’t risk letting his guard down so much when he was so close to Kevin Day, when he had to pay attention to him to ensure he wasn’t recognized. He couldn't afford himself the luxury of feeling like he would belong. _Don't look back. Don't slow down. Don't trust anyone. Be anyone but yourself. Never be anyone for too long._

Neil counted down the days until he graduated, and then the hours until he was on the plane to Palmetto State.


	3. renee (& allison) + soulmate au, pt 2 (t)

Renee didn’t mind waiting.

She’d already done her fair share of it, but when it came to blessings she could find her patience. Allison was worth it, anyway. Even when her face blanched at Renee’s polite greeting when they met, and even when her chewed-out words brought the mark on Renee’s hip to a burning life, every inch of Allison said that whoever deserved her would have to wait.

Andrew didn't ask although he knew. When they would spar and her shirt got tangled in the resulting fight, Renee would feel his gaze levelled on Allison’s words and the asters that wound through them.

(sober andrew didn't care enough to ask. manic andrew was too busy fighting her to find it interesting enough to question. renee knew better than to point out the mark on andrew’s own hip. they both could keep their own secrets.)

So, she waited. 

It got easier as their season went on. Allison seemed to forget about her for the most part, turning her attention to Seth and their messy get-togethers and break-ups. Renee watched without complaint, keeping an eye on her from afar. If Seth couldn’t handle it she would, and that gave Renee the peace of mind necessary to pray her thanks.

When Allison would drunkenly crawl into her bed after an argument, Renee would hold her close and pet her hair, quietly comforting her and making promises she would give her life to keep. She wasn’t foolish, but when Allison looked up at her with unfocused eyes and asked if she’d stay with her no matter what, for as long as she asked, Renee agreed like it was the easiest thing to do. 

“You’re only going to get hurt,” Dan said once in the locker room, her gaze darting from where Allison had already slipped into a stall to Renee’s mark. 

“I know,” Renee answered, forcing the glimpse of Allison’s mark (framed just above her lower back, twisting with asters that mirrored renee’s and interlaced with irises. renee couldn’t count the number of times she wished she would be able to reach out and touch it, to know they really were meant for each other—that she had a place in her life) out of her mind and turning her attention to Dan while touching the silver cross of her necklace. “There’s a reason for it. I know it will end up how it is meant to.”

Renee knew better than to get into things that wouldn’t concern her yet. When Andrew returned with Kevin after signing the rookie striker, he put off their sparring for two weeks. When they finally got together and Andrew’s shirt rode up, Renee saw pale blue flowers tangled with his words, bringing them to life and making her catch her breath. The boy in the picture had brown eyes, but the likelihood of it being anyone else was slim to none.

Andrew won that day, but the distant look in his expression would have made Renee wonder if he even knew where he was. 

Months later, when she finally met Neil Josten and took in his contacts, the way his gaze kept drifting to Andrew, and the hand absent-mindedly rubbing his shoulder, Renee knew she was right. She also knew there was a while to go before Andrew or Neil made the first move. Watching Allison perch herself entirely too close to Neil without so much as a glance at her, she knew she was making the right choice. 

That night before she slept, Renee held her silver cross tight in her palm, closed her eyes, and prayed. _Let it hurt as much as it needs to; I can bear it. Let it take as long as it will; she’s worth it. Whatever it takes, I will accept it if it means she’s happy._

Not allowing herself the pain of looking over to Allison’s empty bed, Renee silently tucked herself in and counted until she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a continuation exactly from the previous chapter, but within the same universe. i'm going to try to not _only_ focus on andrew and neil (as much as i love them and as many ideas have been popping in my head since i read the puzzle comment) since the rest of the cast interests me as well. renee  & allison are wonderful and i hope they're able to be happy with one another.
> 
> classes start again for me in ~7 hours. updates might be slow once things pick back up, but i'll try to come back with something new soon!


	4. neil (& andrew) + 'things you said with too many miles between us' (t)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for spoilers for the raven king, mentions of violence/torture, and implications of sexual assault.
> 
> written for a requested prompt on twitter.

When Neil was at Evermore, he wasn’t allowed to use his phone. He suspected it wasn’t a new rule, but the refusal of something he’d become accustomed to in the past months threw him off. He could already remember the navigation through the phone to open his call history, the way he’d roam over the pad and look at Andrew’s name sitting in the list. Was he okay? Neil wanted to believe Riko had some notion of staying true to his word, but the sting from cuts that had barely stopped bleeding didn’t give him a great opinion of the validity of his promises.

Evermore was the closest to hell he’d been since being on the run with his mother. He didn’t remember much of what he went through, and Neil didn’t want to on most days. He didn’t want to give Riko any more control over him.

Neil wasn’t unused to being hurt. Being beat, cut, threatened within an inch of his life—none of it was new to him when he was at Riko’s hands, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t find new ways to sting. With every new cut and scar Riko sliced into his skin matched with taunting threats to the safety of his teammates, Neil bit back cries and tears, focusing on anything to get him through it without breaking to Riko’s will.

He hadn’t meant to, but Neil thought of Andrew. Neil thought about him a lot more than he expected. When Riko would leave him shaking and barely bandaged in Kevin’s bed, Neil would close his eyes and imagine his phone in his hand, his finger pressing over Andrew’s number in his phone and adding his name once more to the list on his call history.

“I’m sorry,” Neil murmured into the air, too exhausted for anything more than the trembling of his body. “I couldn’t...I wanted to help.”

Andrew couldn’t answer, nor would he if he had heard the tremble in Neil’s voice, how he threatened to break under each new wound yet somehow found the leeway to bend. His guilt bought him a step closer to snapping. You helped create this mess.

“I didn’t mean to. I don’t want you to get hurt again because of me.”

His voice trailed off, leaving silence behind. Neil heard the distant sound of the door slamming shut and Jean’s presence back at his side. If he heard anything Neil had said, Jean didn’t show it.

Knowing he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted, Neil closed his eyes and tried to remember how many days he had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all the comments so far! i'm kind of overwhelmed with classes and stuff, so i haven't gotten around to responding to them yet, but i definitely do read all of them and i really appreciate them! thank you again for taking the time to read these! <3


	5. jerejean + soulmate au, pt 3 (m)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for All the King's Men in this chapter!
> 
> CW for mention of sexual assault, physical assault, and suicide.

It’s a horrible thing, to be connected to someone. When the world plays up the importance of soulmates, they ignore the possibility the bond isn’t meant to be romantic, or platonic, or at all positive. To be tied to someone and destined to them without say is the worst thing that’s happened to Jean Moreau. 

When Jean was younger, he thought there might be hope in having a soulmate. Even if it was platonic, even if they didn’t actually want to love him fully—anything that could get him somewhere else was welcomed. He didn’t know what to make up for the words on his side ( _I don’t want him_ ) but the implications of what could be kept Jean from allowing himself to retreat. Even when his parents sold him to the Moriyama family, Jean ran his fingers over his side and grit his teeth and promised himself no matter what, he wouldn’t let himself be stuck there.

Then he met Riko Moriyama.

Jean can still feel the phantom pain of burning in his side from when Riko first spoke to him, venomous words cutting away any possibility for Jean to find a bright side to his life. He can still feel the scars from what Riko did to him, had others do to him, had Jean do to himself—there was no seeing anything positive in that. Jean was disgusted knowing he was tied to a monster like that.

When Riko died, Jean wondered why he had to be the one to be cursed to stay connected to him like this. 

Neil’s tattoo was burned away, a horror in its own right, and Kevin had his transformed into something better. Jean couldn’t do it. No matter how many times he looked in the mirror and was faced with the 3 curled on his cheek, Jean knew it was hopeless to change it to something else.

After all, soulmate tattoos can’t be removed. The words would be stuck on his side for as long as he would live, the mocking reminder even the person destined for him didn’t want him. What difference did another tie to Riko make?

It isn’t until he lets Jeremy see his tattoo the first time that Jean thinks he can really have a chance again. 

\--

They sit together on Jean’s bed for a while, Jean’s shirt pushed up and bunched under his arm and Riko’s words on full display.

“Why?” Jeremy asks, his fingertips pressing against the scarred skin beneath Jean’s mark. Jean wasn’t sure what he was asking—why Riko did this, why Jean stayed there, why he was forced to bear this tie for the rest of his life.

“He is not-- he was not gay,” Jean says after a moment, deciding on the first question he thought of. “He did not want to put his public image in jeopardy.” He adds the last part as if it makes what Jeremy was looking at any better. It doesn’t.

“You wouldn’t have,” Jeremy says, insistent and pulling Jean’s shirt back down in favor of looking him in the face. “He was too fucked up to realize it, but he was lucky to have you.” Jean scoffs at that.

“I sure feel lucky,” he says, face falling just enough for Jeremy to regret what he’d said. He was still sitting beside Jean, their thighs touching and enough space between them to be a comfortable intimacy.

It’s been months since Jean first arrived, on-edge and requesting not to room alone because that wasn’t how the Ravens worked, months since Jeremy called Kevin in hysterics because Jean was missing and hadn’t been to classes that day, and Kevin calmly asked if anyone had gone with him to practice, or the store, or even to his classes.

So, Jeremy begrudgingly played along. As much as he wanted to break Jean’s habits, he needed to do so without breaking Jean. He offered to room with him, went to practice with him and spend time he knew Jean needed. They’d never crossed a line before, keeping whatever they were in boundaries. Jeremy couldn’t go past whatever authority he had as a captain, and there was no way in hell he was going to risk hurting Jean any more than he already had been. Jeremy caught the few times Jean held back flinches when teammates slapped his back after a game or at practice, knew there were things Riko did that hadn’t been disclosed during Jean’s move to their university.

Now, though, Jeremy’s hand drops to rest on both of their thighs, balancing and buying time before he moves any further. “Can I?” He asks quietly, because there’s no way he can take his chances with assumptions about what Jean is okay with. Jean’s gaze drags up from somewhere around Jeremy’s chin, looks surprised, and his mouth opens in a wavering oval. For a horrifying moment, Jeremy thinks he’s completely misread the situation, the meaning behind Jean allowing him to see the mark on his side.

“Yes,” Jean says, voice almost breaking on the word, and Jeremy doesn’t let himself get caught up in ‘why’s before he leans forward, brushing his lips against Jean’s. For a moment, Jean stays still, freezing up, and Jeremy is already pulling back when one of Jean’s hands moves to grip his wrist, holding onto him as he presses back into the kiss. There isn’t anything to it, their lips pressing together. Jeremy’s only thoughts are the wish he listened to Laila when she said he needed to start chapstick and the realization that yeah, he probably is bi. He lets Jean pull away first, gauges his reaction with a wary look-over.

“It’s, uh, that’s—the first time I’ve actually kissed a guy. Wow. Okay,” Jeremy says, relieved when a smile tenses Jean’s mouth. He laughs, more giddy than anything, and he’s already thinking about kissing Jean again when the other coughs, nudging Jeremys’ hand off his thigh and moving to sit fully on his bed. 

Neither of them say anything, looking at one another. Jeremy’s mind races away from the fact that he actually did just kiss a boy as he wonders if Jean really was okay with it, but asking if he was sure seems a bit late and also a bit of an insult to Jean's judgement. Jean stares at him with an unreadable expression, and when he realizes Jeremy isn’t making another move towards him until he says something, he lets out a shaky breath.

“They didn't usually ask first,” Jean says. Jeremy’s almost lost in their conversation before his brain kicks back into gear, connecting the dots and making his voice catch. When Jean speaks again, Jeremy decides that if Riko hadn’t killed himself, he would be on his way to Castle Evermore within the hour. “Riko- he would tell them. What they could or couldn’t do. It only happened a few times before—” Jean breaks off, seeming to count seconds and focus on his breathing. “Before he decided it was boring and moved onto something else. It never happened again after that.” He presses his hands to his eyes and takes a longer breath.

“I was still afraid, sometimes. I wondered if it was how he wanted to show he cared. It was not. He couldn’t care, not about me or Kevin or anyone else. Only himself and what his father thought of him.” Jean moves his hands now, looking further from crying and more like he’s accepted his words long before he’s spoken them. “I know he cannot hurt me anymore. I know you have no intention of doing something like that.” He speaks so surely that, regardless that he’s right and Jeremy knows he’d never lay a hand on him that wasn’t asked for, Jeremy can’t help but wonder what he’s done to earn this trust.

“I don’t,” Jeremy says, almost tripping over his words and mentally cursing himself for sounding so lame about this. “I promise: I won’t touch you unless you tell me it’s okay.” The corner of Jean’s mouth tugs up as he says that, but his gaze looks surprised when he repeats, softly, ‘I know.’

“It will take some time for other things, but...for now, the kissing I like,” Jean says finally. “You are not bad for the first time. We’ll have to practice more before you graduate, of course.” Jeremy takes a moment to register what he says, and when he does he can’t help the surprised grin on his face. 

They have the rest of the fall season, a few more weeks before winter break, and then the spring. After, Jeremy will be off into the professional world of Exy and Jean will be in his last year of college. For now, though, they can work together—and no matter how long it takes, Jeremy realizes, he’ll do whatever he can to help Jean as long as he’ll let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I can say that not all of this collection will include soulmate aus, but the reception has been really nice and I keep thinking about everyone in the au during classes, so I'm letting myself indulge a bit. I can't promise what will come next, but do be assured that I have plans for all of the Foxes and then some for the au! ;) (That means I'll definitely try to include chapters or at least mentions for many of the characters!)
> 
> Keep in mind that some people may not have soulmates, as this au doesn't require _everyone_ to have a tattoo (See: Jeremy  & Neil's parents not having one!) but I'm definitely bias and I definitely think Wymack would be the one who manages to get a team full of kids who all have soulmate tattoos. It's not a requirement, but it keeps happening and the Foxes joke about it being a necessity when they're picking out potential recruits.
> 
> Oof, long note for this chapter. Thank you very much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also trying to make a playlist to listen to while I write for this series, so if there's any songs you really feel like I should listen to or think go well with the characters, I would appreciate suggestions! I hope you enjoyed, and kudos & comments are appreciated!


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